March for Babies

Our local Northeast Ohio March for Babies is this coming Sunday. I have to say I am looking so forward to it. I have personally met my pretty lofty goal and my team did as well. I feel so proud. As I have previously posted, we are the ambassador family for the walk. We get to cut the ribbon to kick-off the walk and I have to say a few words during the pre-walk festivities. I will certainly mention monoamniotic twins!!!

My only concern is that the boys seem to be getting sick or at least are miserable with teething. I sure hope they are their happy selves by Sunday. This would not be a good time to get fussy on me.

I'll post again after the walk with some pictures. If anyone out there in the blogging world wants to contribute to my team you can go to www.marchforbabiesorg/karenuad.

Grow, Grow, Grow

I hesitate to post this as I have gotten some pretty interesting comments from people regarding this issue with my boys. Tuesday, we saw a pediatric endocrinologist as our boys just are not catching up to the growth chart. At 20 months, they weight only 18 pounds and are 2 feet 4 inches tall (or short). The good news is that they are growing at the correct rate. They just never had a growth spurt to catch them up the curve. So the doctor does not think they have any underlying medical issues. She is doing bloodwork to check for sure though.

So the issue becomes their height. At this rate, the doctor's don't think they would reach an adult height of 5 foot tall. Our option is growth hormone. This would hopefully allow them to reach a height of 5'5 ish. I am not a "vain" person or one of those mothers that particularly cares about their athelic ability or stature but I am concerned with the emotional ramifications of having adult children who aren't 5 foot tall.

At this point, everyone is probably thinking....do the growth hormone.....and I agree. My "motherly" issue with it is that it is DAILY injections from age 2 until they stop growing sometime after age 15. This is a big committment for mearly for what most people would view as a cosmetic issue.

The more I think about it though, it is also a socio-emotional issue as well. Identical twins get enough "attention" as it is. I hate their height to make them more of a "spectical".

They didn't come with tall "genes" to begin with as my husband and I are very short as well. i have no issue with it but I am a girl.

My other concern if we don't try it is that someday when my boys are grown very short men they will they come back and say "you could of helped us, why didn't you at least try". This can not be a decision made in retrospect. The earlier the better for growth hormone. They won't start it until age 2 though.

I do feel very fortunate though that this is our "BIG" issue. We could have it so much worse.

I guess it feels good to get this down. Hope I don't get judged to harshly for it. I just want what is best for my boys.

Remembering Continued

I REMEMBER...

Flo, the cleaning lady in the antepartum unit and NICU who was an angel who watched over all the NICU babies. When asked why she doesn't retire "because the babies need me". ...and the mommies needed her too.

The day before I was to go back to work, William developed a horrible infection causing him to break out in spots. No one could tell me if he was going to survive. Needless to say, I didn't start back to work that next day.

Desperately wanting to hold my babies but having to wait 3 weeks for them to stabalize enough for me to hold them.

Sitting at their bedsides and singing them "you are my sunshine" over and over again.

3 bouts of mastitis, very painful, ouchie!

Pumping, pumping and more pumping.

Being told to stop pumping b/c they didn't know if my breastmild got William sick.

Being devastated thowing tons of breastmilk away knowing the sacrifice it took getting every drop into those little bottles.

Being in the NICU as a baby died. I still think of that little baby. Not sure why she died but it killed me to hear she was not compatable with life. How cruel does that sound.

Bringing donuts every sunday to all the nurses. Hoping they wouldn't get as sick of us as we were of them.

Getting 2 flat tires at the hospital and having to wait until 11:30 pm for Mark to get off work to take care of it.

ok, That's enough remember today.....I can only do this in little doses. It is hard bringing up these feelings again. Need to get these thoughts out so someday I will NEVER forget.

Remembering...

My boys will be 20 months on April 4th and

I can remember....

Barely seeing a second line on a HPT and waking my husband at 4 am to see if he could see one too!

Finding out on my birthday that there were 2 babies growing in me.

First hearing the words, monoamniotic twins and leaving the MFM's office hysterical (I mean hysterical) after he told me in no uncertain terms that I should terminate the pregnancy.

The Ultrasound tech telling me that she was checking to see if they were conjoined.

Finding Dr. Moodley and having him explain my treatment plan giving me encouragement that I could (but no guarantee) leave this situation with 2 healthy babies.

Explaining to everyone, that yes, i was carrying twins, but no, they may not make it into this world alive.

Being so careful of what I ate, drank and how I moved.

That I had a crazy hairy belly while pregnant, thank goodness that went away (how embarrassing)

Being admitted at 25 1/2 weeks for monitoring and finally feeling happy and relaxed that I would bring 2 babies home.

The horror of having Baby "B" go into distress 9 days later knowing there was a chance they may not survive delivery.

Looking into Dr. Pietz's eyes with tears and asking what their chances were, he said "about 80%"

Learning they only weighed a 1 pound 12 and 1 pound 8 ounces and Tommy came out not breathing. We needed some more miracles.

Mark waiting to see them until I saw them first and praying and watching Mark Baptize them. This was our family and yet we did not know what was to come of it.

Meeting Sarah for the first time and learning that her little girl, Kiley, only weighed 14 ounces

Meeting Erin and Carrie and thrilled I had some other mother's with Twins in the NICU to support me through this who truly understood.

Getting tons of cards, notes and gifts from loved ones. I don't know another time I felt so loved by so many.

Watching the NICU monitors relentlessly willfully trying to keep them from alarming. Much of the time to no avail.

The feeling of anxious anticipation driving the 30 minutes to the hospital every day for 101 days

This post will be too be continued....Too much to remember at one time! Wow how 20 months ago, my life changed forever!

Stalking the Easter Bunny

We got 7 inches of snow last night. That's about right for Cleveland in the Springtime. ugh!
We took the boys to their first Easter Egg hunt and here is what happened...
Liam and Tommy weren't all that interested in the Easter Egg Hunt until they set their eyes on the Easter Bunny. They saw him from a distance and it was all over from there. They took off in a foot race. I believe Liam got to him first. He touched and laughed and squeezed the Easter Bunny's nose. He tried with all his might to get the Easter Bunny to pick him up. Tommy was no different. We tried to distract them by taking them to another room but all they did was race back to the big furry bunny. The other kids around didn't bother them. They squeezed there way in to get a feel of him. We actually had to leave the event early because I couldn't get the boys away from the Easter Bunny. I think the Easter Bunny is going to have nightmares tonight about 2 little boys hunting him down. LOL
Anyway, we had a nice day and here are some photos (I sure wish I was a better photographer)...and 1 more thing..... I know I should have gotten my money back on their haircuts. I didn't realize how bad they were until we got home. That is a story for a different post!

Birthday Eve

Well, tomorrow I turn 35. My age doesn't really bother me but for some reason I keep thinking about the fact that tomorrow I am 35. That means that if I live to 70 I am half way through my life. I got a wonderful card from my friend Maureen and in it she reminded me that we have now been friends for 20 years. That just seems impossible. We became friends in high-school. That couldn't possible be 20 years ago. It seems like yesterday I was driving my red Sundbird listening to New Order and Depeche Mode. I loved music back then. I have no idea about today's music.

Another thing that keeps coming through my head is that I have now out-lived my sister by 5 years. For those who don't know, I lost my sister, Laura (age 30), Feb. 6, 1999 to a horrific battle with tongue cancer. I feel like I have had a very trying and emotional decade from age 25 to now age 35. I am hoping age 35-45 is a little more mundane and routine. In the last 10 years, I lost my sister, I moved from Florida back to OHio, I bought a house, got married, lost my father in law suddenly to a stroke, dealt with infertility, got my doctorate, finally got pregnant with momo twins, Liam and Tommy born 13 weeks too soon, (and those are only the things I would share) etc. etc. So the last 10 years have been filled with lots of emotion, some good, some bad. Life has certainly been a journey. One thing is for sure, my life has never been boring.

I am lucky to be surrounded by people I love and people who love me. I wouldn't change it for anything.

So, Happy Birthday to me and to all who look forward to there lives and everything it has to offer!

Cherry Valley Lodge

We had our first Family "mini" vacation this past weekend. We took the boys to Cherry Valley Lodge and Coco Key indoor waterpark with my husband's family. We had such a great time. Liam and Tommy were a little slow to warm up to the waterpark. I don't think they were scared. I just don't think they knew what to do. They figured it out and had a great time.

They really enjoyed the hotel room. The water must have worn them out b/c they took great naps and slept at night for 12 hours. They loved hiding under the sinks and running around the room. They loved they could get off the bed all on their own.

Thanks to my mother in law, Mark and I got some alone time as well. We enjoyed sitting in the outdoor spa.
It was wonderful to reconnect as a family. Balancing work and family is a constant struggle for us. With working such opposite schedules, family time is so important. Our schedules make it great that the boys don't have to go to daycare but we do sacrifice family time together. It makes me sad sometimes. Weekends like this really energize me. I mentally feel so much bettter.

My only regret from the weekend is that I didn't take any pictures. i am terrible like that! The boys looked so cute in their little swim trunks.

Now I know they are such great travellers...Florida here we come!!!!!