Was one of the worst days of my life! This ranks right up there with the day my sister died. I do think that you have to have these days in order to appreciate the good days and the great days but this day changed me. Interesting, that I think it changed me for the better.
You see, on this day three years ago, a physician who i had every hope in, who i prayed would give me some hope, looked me in the eyes and said these exact words "I know it took you 3 years to get pregnant, but if you don't terminate this pregnancy and start over, there is a good chance these babies will die or end up in a nursing home the rest of there life'. i should add that he said this while tying his shoe. All i can say is "BASTARD".
Even after I am on the other side of a monoamniotic pregnancy and I know I have 2 wonderful beautiful and healthy little boys, these words can come back an haunt me.
The thoughts and emotions i had this day are unbelievable. Never for a minute did I think of terminating my pregnancy but the fear of bringing preemies into this world did scare the heck out of me. Was is fair to knowingly make them struggle those first months? But i think just has i struggled through the pregnancy with it only making me a different better person. i am hoping their struggles only prove to make them better people as well.
I think i had to get through this day so i would be passionate about saving babies, about helping other monoamniotic moms and never ever taking my boys for granted.
i will never forget this day. The day someone thought my unborn babies weren't worth the sacrifice. WEll, they were Dr. Emery, They were!
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7 comments:
Thanks for making me cry at work :)
Our Dr at one point brought up the notion of terminating. I think I shocked the hell outta him when i looked at him and said flat out "NO! That was not an option for us" Thankfully he was quick to jump on board and was my savior there after. It really does change your life.
Karen,
I know your story and its more harsh than most. It's worse than offering termination because it was more like scaring you into to it. Knowing what we know now, its horrifying! I, too was offered the option, but totally discouraged. It was/is such a horrible thing to do through.
Oh and I am sorry to know you lost your sister, what a hard thing!
I was offered termination as well. It's so wonderful to be on the other side and be able to share your experience with others and help them when they have doctors like yours that don't give them much hope. :)
I'm so thankful you did not listen to that advice. Your insight was so helpful to me during my pregnancy! Although I was never officially offered termination, I had a specialist who was very pessimistic about the situation. I think his exact words were "this is the worst kind of twins to have"! It is such a relief to be through with "those days" but it was truly a life changing experience.
I am so glad that you've come through that, and chose to bring those beautiful boys with you. I only wish that doctors would be a bit more encouraging when there is bad news rather than give you the worst case scenario.
Hi Karen,
What a privilege to photograph your miracle babies. I just read a bunch of your blog posts and am moved by your story and your desire to help other moms! Congratulations on your beautiful family and for never giving up hope, even agaist the odds!
I am blessed to have met you!
Stacy
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