Was one of the worst days of my life! This ranks right up there with the day my sister died. I do think that you have to have these days in order to appreciate the good days and the great days but this day changed me. Interesting, that I think it changed me for the better.
You see, on this day three years ago, a physician who i had every hope in, who i prayed would give me some hope, looked me in the eyes and said these exact words "I know it took you 3 years to get pregnant, but if you don't terminate this pregnancy and start over, there is a good chance these babies will die or end up in a nursing home the rest of there life'. i should add that he said this while tying his shoe. All i can say is "BASTARD".
Even after I am on the other side of a monoamniotic pregnancy and I know I have 2 wonderful beautiful and healthy little boys, these words can come back an haunt me.
The thoughts and emotions i had this day are unbelievable. Never for a minute did I think of terminating my pregnancy but the fear of bringing preemies into this world did scare the heck out of me. Was is fair to knowingly make them struggle those first months? But i think just has i struggled through the pregnancy with it only making me a different better person. i am hoping their struggles only prove to make them better people as well.
I think i had to get through this day so i would be passionate about saving babies, about helping other monoamniotic moms and never ever taking my boys for granted.
i will never forget this day. The day someone thought my unborn babies weren't worth the sacrifice. WEll, they were Dr. Emery, They were!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
What's your name?
I don't think my boys look a like at all but I am reminded at family gatherings that indeed they are identical twins and others can't tell them apart.
So on Easter Sunday someone asked William what his name was and he responded "Tommy". A little while later my niece brought Tommy inside and she was calling him Liam. I said, "Lindsey, that is Tommy" and she said "He told me he was Liam".
Ugh oh, we are in big trouble that they are starting this at age 2! LOL!
So on Easter Sunday someone asked William what his name was and he responded "Tommy". A little while later my niece brought Tommy inside and she was calling him Liam. I said, "Lindsey, that is Tommy" and she said "He told me he was Liam".
Ugh oh, we are in big trouble that they are starting this at age 2! LOL!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Proud Mommy!
I have been a bad blogger lately but I want to write a story about my little dudes that I don't want to forget.
We had a March of Dimes function held at a daycare center and a little 5 year old girl was there who had severe Cerebral Palsy. My boys had not seen a disabled child before and they were looking her way curious. I took them by the hand and went and introduced them to Amanda. I didn't want them to be afraid and I certainly did not want her to feel left out. She smiled and knew we were there talking to her. I showed Liam and Tommy how she could feel a soft stuffed animal.
A little while later I was talking with some adults but then scanned the room to look for my boys. I found Tommy sitting next to Amanda with a big smile on his face helping her feel the soft toy. My heart could not feel more proud. He looked so proud of himself and so happy he was playing with Amanda.
William was interested in pushing her stroller around. He also tried to interact with Amanda and include her.
I am so lucky to be their mommy. They teach me so much and watching innocence is remarkable!
We had a March of Dimes function held at a daycare center and a little 5 year old girl was there who had severe Cerebral Palsy. My boys had not seen a disabled child before and they were looking her way curious. I took them by the hand and went and introduced them to Amanda. I didn't want them to be afraid and I certainly did not want her to feel left out. She smiled and knew we were there talking to her. I showed Liam and Tommy how she could feel a soft stuffed animal.
A little while later I was talking with some adults but then scanned the room to look for my boys. I found Tommy sitting next to Amanda with a big smile on his face helping her feel the soft toy. My heart could not feel more proud. He looked so proud of himself and so happy he was playing with Amanda.
William was interested in pushing her stroller around. He also tried to interact with Amanda and include her.
I am so lucky to be their mommy. They teach me so much and watching innocence is remarkable!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
What happened to Jesus?
William: excited and running to me....."Mommy, mommy, what happened to Jesus? What happened to Jesus?"
Mommy: (thinking this was a learning moment, "He died for our sins and then rose from the dead"
William (pointing to blinds): "No Mommy, what happened to Jesus?"
Mommy: seeing crusifix lying on top of blinds "Oh William, don't throw Jesus on top of blinds, we need to put him back on the wall".
Mommy: (thinking this was a learning moment, "He died for our sins and then rose from the dead"
William (pointing to blinds): "No Mommy, what happened to Jesus?"
Mommy: seeing crusifix lying on top of blinds "Oh William, don't throw Jesus on top of blinds, we need to put him back on the wall".
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
3 year ago today
Three years ago today at 3 am I had to pee. So I took out the home pregnancy test and peed. I couldn't believe what I saw. The slightest second line appeared. I couldn't believe it. I never dreamed this would ever happen. I got out another test and again a small 2nd line appeared. I woke up Mark and said "do you see 2 lines?" He had no idea why I was asking or what it meant. I think he thought I finally lost my marbles.
I called my mom to tell her. I went to work and called the doctor's office. They sent me for bloodwork. I couldn't wait to get the results. The nurse called and said "congratulations, you are pregnant". When I got the bloodwork results, I called Mark and said "you are going to be a daddy!". Turns out he was at duncun donuts, so he told the cashier. Funny, she was the second to get the official word on our pregnancy.
I had to go back 48 hours for repeat bloodwork to make sure the numbers doubled. Well they tripled. I was thrilled.
This day three years ago, began an amazing journey that has forever changed me in ways I never would have thought possible. This began months or challenges and life altering choices and decisions which had to be made. My faith in God and the love of my family and friends sustained me through this time. I am eternally thankful to have such wonderful people in my life. Somehow I made all the right choices and the rest is history.
by the way, today is my mom's birthday!! I found out twins on my birthday! I'll report on that day in less than a month.
Wow, amazing..three years ago today!
I called my mom to tell her. I went to work and called the doctor's office. They sent me for bloodwork. I couldn't wait to get the results. The nurse called and said "congratulations, you are pregnant". When I got the bloodwork results, I called Mark and said "you are going to be a daddy!". Turns out he was at duncun donuts, so he told the cashier. Funny, she was the second to get the official word on our pregnancy.
I had to go back 48 hours for repeat bloodwork to make sure the numbers doubled. Well they tripled. I was thrilled.
This day three years ago, began an amazing journey that has forever changed me in ways I never would have thought possible. This began months or challenges and life altering choices and decisions which had to be made. My faith in God and the love of my family and friends sustained me through this time. I am eternally thankful to have such wonderful people in my life. Somehow I made all the right choices and the rest is history.
by the way, today is my mom's birthday!! I found out twins on my birthday! I'll report on that day in less than a month.
Wow, amazing..three years ago today!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Yes we are this crazy, Introducing the newest member of our family
We have a new wonderful member of the Family to Introduce. Her name is Bella and she is a Staffordshire Bull Terrier or as people in the U.K. call her breed "the Nanny Dog" (due to their devotion to children). She is about 10 months old and we were lucky to get her from a friend who didn't have the time to dedicate to such a loving, energetic little girl.
She has fit into our family really well. She is house-trained and very well mannered. The only thing we really need to work on is jumping on people. She just gets so excited to see everyone.
The first thing the boys do when they wake up now is say "doggie house" and they head downstairs to get Bella out of her crate. The boys also like to play chase with her. They run and she chases. She knows to be gentle and she just adores them. The boys just don't like when she lays on their blankies but she just wants to cuddle with them.
Samson accepted her without any problems. He seems happier and more energetic. They already sun-bathe and cuddle by the back door (that is when there is sun)!
I do sometimes think that 2 dogs are easier than 1 although 3 dogs would be insane! So don't look for us to be adding any more dogs. Now considering fish or a turtle...so stay tuned!
Just a quick thank you to Laura for recognizing that Bella needed a family with kids and a quick nod to William at http://rockycreekstaffs.com/ who let us out of our deposit on a puppy puppy. The house trained puppy is a better fit for us. He has some of the greatest Staffy's out there! Bella is a Rocky Creek Staffie!
So here she is Bella!
She has fit into our family really well. She is house-trained and very well mannered. The only thing we really need to work on is jumping on people. She just gets so excited to see everyone.
The first thing the boys do when they wake up now is say "doggie house" and they head downstairs to get Bella out of her crate. The boys also like to play chase with her. They run and she chases. She knows to be gentle and she just adores them. The boys just don't like when she lays on their blankies but she just wants to cuddle with them.
Samson accepted her without any problems. He seems happier and more energetic. They already sun-bathe and cuddle by the back door (that is when there is sun)!
I do sometimes think that 2 dogs are easier than 1 although 3 dogs would be insane! So don't look for us to be adding any more dogs. Now considering fish or a turtle...so stay tuned!
Just a quick thank you to Laura for recognizing that Bella needed a family with kids and a quick nod to William at http://rockycreekstaffs.com/ who let us out of our deposit on a puppy puppy. The house trained puppy is a better fit for us. He has some of the greatest Staffy's out there! Bella is a Rocky Creek Staffie!
So here she is Bella!
Friday, January 30, 2009
March for Babies Kick-Off
Today, i am kicking off my personal March for Babies campaign. My goal this year is to personally raise $2000.00 for the March of Dimes.
I have donated to many charities over the years and what I have found about the March of Dimes is that the mission is always at the center of their fundraising. Every event I go to or meeting I attend, there is always someone their talking abou their experience with the March of Dimes. The March of Dimes is so much more grass-roots than other non-profits I have been exposed to.
I always say that if it were not for the March of Dimes, my boys would not be here. I don't always tell everyone why this is the case.
My boys needed Surfactant to breathe when they were born as they were born with respiratory distress due to their prematurity and small size. Without it they would have died!
This is why I am forever grateful to the March of Dimes research....
The March of Dimes has a long history of funding research on newborn lung development and has invested over $12.5 million in researchers studying this important issue. One of the most important breakthroughs in this field was the work of T. Allen Merritt, MD, at the University of California San Diego Medical Center. His research showing the effectiveness of surfactant therapy for premature babies with respiratory distress syndrome (RDS) helped convince the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to approve surfactant therapy to prevent and treat RDS. Surfactant is a detergent-like substance produced in the lungs that aids in breathing. Since surfactant therapy became widespread, infant deaths due to RDS have dropped by over two-thirds. The March of Dimes continues to support research to develop new and more effective surfactant therapies.
The FDA didn't approve Surfactant until the 1980's. That is in all of our lifetimes. Had we been born this little and premature, we would have died. That fact always puts this into perspective for me. There is still so much work to be done so half a million babies have a healthy start in life.
Please help me support the March of Dimes by going to www.marchforbabies.com/karenuad
Here you will find my Walk team and how to sign up to walk with us or donate to our team.
I have donated to many charities over the years and what I have found about the March of Dimes is that the mission is always at the center of their fundraising. Every event I go to or meeting I attend, there is always someone their talking abou their experience with the March of Dimes. The March of Dimes is so much more grass-roots than other non-profits I have been exposed to.
I always say that if it were not for the March of Dimes, my boys would not be here. I don't always tell everyone why this is the case.
My boys needed Surfactant to breathe when they were born as they were born with respiratory distress due to their prematurity and small size. Without it they would have died!
This is why I am forever grateful to the March of Dimes research....
The March of Dimes has a long history of funding research on newborn lung development and has invested over $12.5 million in researchers studying this important issue. One of the most important breakthroughs in this field was the work of T. Allen Merritt, MD, at the University of California San Diego Medical Center. His research showing the effectiveness of surfactant therapy for premature babies with respiratory distress syndrome (RDS) helped convince the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to approve surfactant therapy to prevent and treat RDS. Surfactant is a detergent-like substance produced in the lungs that aids in breathing. Since surfactant therapy became widespread, infant deaths due to RDS have dropped by over two-thirds. The March of Dimes continues to support research to develop new and more effective surfactant therapies.
The FDA didn't approve Surfactant until the 1980's. That is in all of our lifetimes. Had we been born this little and premature, we would have died. That fact always puts this into perspective for me. There is still so much work to be done so half a million babies have a healthy start in life.
Please help me support the March of Dimes by going to www.marchforbabies.com/karenuad
Here you will find my Walk team and how to sign up to walk with us or donate to our team.
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