Thursday, April 24, 2008

March for Babies

Our local Northeast Ohio March for Babies is this coming Sunday. I have to say I am looking so forward to it. I have personally met my pretty lofty goal and my team did as well. I feel so proud. As I have previously posted, we are the ambassador family for the walk. We get to cut the ribbon to kick-off the walk and I have to say a few words during the pre-walk festivities. I will certainly mention monoamniotic twins!!!

My only concern is that the boys seem to be getting sick or at least are miserable with teething. I sure hope they are their happy selves by Sunday. This would not be a good time to get fussy on me.

I'll post again after the walk with some pictures. If anyone out there in the blogging world wants to contribute to my team you can go to www.marchforbabiesorg/karenuad.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Grow, Grow, Grow

I hesitate to post this as I have gotten some pretty interesting comments from people regarding this issue with my boys. Tuesday, we saw a pediatric endocrinologist as our boys just are not catching up to the growth chart. At 20 months, they weight only 18 pounds and are 2 feet 4 inches tall (or short). The good news is that they are growing at the correct rate. They just never had a growth spurt to catch them up the curve. So the doctor does not think they have any underlying medical issues. She is doing bloodwork to check for sure though.

So the issue becomes their height. At this rate, the doctor's don't think they would reach an adult height of 5 foot tall. Our option is growth hormone. This would hopefully allow them to reach a height of 5'5 ish. I am not a "vain" person or one of those mothers that particularly cares about their athelic ability or stature but I am concerned with the emotional ramifications of having adult children who aren't 5 foot tall.

At this point, everyone is probably the growth hormone.....and I agree. My "motherly" issue with it is that it is DAILY injections from age 2 until they stop growing sometime after age 15. This is a big committment for mearly for what most people would view as a cosmetic issue.

The more I think about it though, it is also a socio-emotional issue as well. Identical twins get enough "attention" as it is. I hate their height to make them more of a "spectical".

They didn't come with tall "genes" to begin with as my husband and I are very short as well. i have no issue with it but I am a girl.

My other concern if we don't try it is that someday when my boys are grown very short men they will they come back and say "you could of helped us, why didn't you at least try". This can not be a decision made in retrospect. The earlier the better for growth hormone. They won't start it until age 2 though.

I do feel very fortunate though that this is our "BIG" issue. We could have it so much worse.

I guess it feels good to get this down. Hope I don't get judged to harshly for it. I just want what is best for my boys.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Remembering Continued


Flo, the cleaning lady in the antepartum unit and NICU who was an angel who watched over all the NICU babies. When asked why she doesn't retire "because the babies need me". ...and the mommies needed her too.

The day before I was to go back to work, William developed a horrible infection causing him to break out in spots. No one could tell me if he was going to survive. Needless to say, I didn't start back to work that next day.

Desperately wanting to hold my babies but having to wait 3 weeks for them to stabalize enough for me to hold them.

Sitting at their bedsides and singing them "you are my sunshine" over and over again.

3 bouts of mastitis, very painful, ouchie!

Pumping, pumping and more pumping.

Being told to stop pumping b/c they didn't know if my breastmild got William sick.

Being devastated thowing tons of breastmilk away knowing the sacrifice it took getting every drop into those little bottles.

Being in the NICU as a baby died. I still think of that little baby. Not sure why she died but it killed me to hear she was not compatable with life. How cruel does that sound.

Bringing donuts every sunday to all the nurses. Hoping they wouldn't get as sick of us as we were of them.

Getting 2 flat tires at the hospital and having to wait until 11:30 pm for Mark to get off work to take care of it.

ok, That's enough remember today.....I can only do this in little doses. It is hard bringing up these feelings again. Need to get these thoughts out so someday I will NEVER forget.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008


My boys will be 20 months on April 4th and

I can remember....

Barely seeing a second line on a HPT and waking my husband at 4 am to see if he could see one too!

Finding out on my birthday that there were 2 babies growing in me.

First hearing the words, monoamniotic twins and leaving the MFM's office hysterical (I mean hysterical) after he told me in no uncertain terms that I should terminate the pregnancy.

The Ultrasound tech telling me that she was checking to see if they were conjoined.

Finding Dr. Moodley and having him explain my treatment plan giving me encouragement that I could (but no guarantee) leave this situation with 2 healthy babies.

Explaining to everyone, that yes, i was carrying twins, but no, they may not make it into this world alive.

Being so careful of what I ate, drank and how I moved.

That I had a crazy hairy belly while pregnant, thank goodness that went away (how embarrassing)

Being admitted at 25 1/2 weeks for monitoring and finally feeling happy and relaxed that I would bring 2 babies home.

The horror of having Baby "B" go into distress 9 days later knowing there was a chance they may not survive delivery.

Looking into Dr. Pietz's eyes with tears and asking what their chances were, he said "about 80%"

Learning they only weighed a 1 pound 12 and 1 pound 8 ounces and Tommy came out not breathing. We needed some more miracles.

Mark waiting to see them until I saw them first and praying and watching Mark Baptize them. This was our family and yet we did not know what was to come of it.

Meeting Sarah for the first time and learning that her little girl, Kiley, only weighed 14 ounces

Meeting Erin and Carrie and thrilled I had some other mother's with Twins in the NICU to support me through this who truly understood.

Getting tons of cards, notes and gifts from loved ones. I don't know another time I felt so loved by so many.

Watching the NICU monitors relentlessly willfully trying to keep them from alarming. Much of the time to no avail.

The feeling of anxious anticipation driving the 30 minutes to the hospital every day for 101 days

This post will be too be continued....Too much to remember at one time! Wow how 20 months ago, my life changed forever!