Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Remembering...

My boys will be 20 months on April 4th and

I can remember....

Barely seeing a second line on a HPT and waking my husband at 4 am to see if he could see one too!

Finding out on my birthday that there were 2 babies growing in me.

First hearing the words, monoamniotic twins and leaving the MFM's office hysterical (I mean hysterical) after he told me in no uncertain terms that I should terminate the pregnancy.

The Ultrasound tech telling me that she was checking to see if they were conjoined.

Finding Dr. Moodley and having him explain my treatment plan giving me encouragement that I could (but no guarantee) leave this situation with 2 healthy babies.

Explaining to everyone, that yes, i was carrying twins, but no, they may not make it into this world alive.

Being so careful of what I ate, drank and how I moved.

That I had a crazy hairy belly while pregnant, thank goodness that went away (how embarrassing)

Being admitted at 25 1/2 weeks for monitoring and finally feeling happy and relaxed that I would bring 2 babies home.

The horror of having Baby "B" go into distress 9 days later knowing there was a chance they may not survive delivery.

Looking into Dr. Pietz's eyes with tears and asking what their chances were, he said "about 80%"

Learning they only weighed a 1 pound 12 and 1 pound 8 ounces and Tommy came out not breathing. We needed some more miracles.

Mark waiting to see them until I saw them first and praying and watching Mark Baptize them. This was our family and yet we did not know what was to come of it.

Meeting Sarah for the first time and learning that her little girl, Kiley, only weighed 14 ounces

Meeting Erin and Carrie and thrilled I had some other mother's with Twins in the NICU to support me through this who truly understood.

Getting tons of cards, notes and gifts from loved ones. I don't know another time I felt so loved by so many.

Watching the NICU monitors relentlessly willfully trying to keep them from alarming. Much of the time to no avail.

The feeling of anxious anticipation driving the 30 minutes to the hospital every day for 101 days

This post will be too be continued....Too much to remember at one time! Wow how 20 months ago, my life changed forever!

5 comments:

angie said...

So much to remember....I look forward to the continued part....your boys are such little miracles........I too remember telling my kids that I was pregnant with twin boys but that there was a good chance they wouldn't survive. Thank goodness we both had amazing outcomes....:)

Connie said...

Wow Karen, there is so much to remember...I'm trying to get it all down too...I had that hairy belly as well!!!!

Churchill said...

I have been thinking lately that I need to get it all down too. It is amazing how all the details become fuzzy and they grow and new memories develop. I am glad that you are sharing all of your memories, good and sad, with us.

jenni anne said...

karen, i love these memories, even the ones you don't really want to remember. (like the a-hole that told you to terminate). you are an amazing momma, and i hope to some day meet you and your miracle boys!

Erin said...

I had a crazy hairy belly as well! Wink