Was one of the worst days of my life! This ranks right up there with the day my sister died. I do think that you have to have these days in order to appreciate the good days and the great days but this day changed me. Interesting, that I think it changed me for the better.
You see, on this day three years ago, a physician who i had every hope in, who i prayed would give me some hope, looked me in the eyes and said these exact words "I know it took you 3 years to get pregnant, but if you don't terminate this pregnancy and start over, there is a good chance these babies will die or end up in a nursing home the rest of there life'. i should add that he said this while tying his shoe. All i can say is "BASTARD".
Even after I am on the other side of a monoamniotic pregnancy and I know I have 2 wonderful beautiful and healthy little boys, these words can come back an haunt me.
The thoughts and emotions i had this day are unbelievable. Never for a minute did I think of terminating my pregnancy but the fear of bringing preemies into this world did scare the heck out of me. Was is fair to knowingly make them struggle those first months? But i think just has i struggled through the pregnancy with it only making me a different better person. i am hoping their struggles only prove to make them better people as well.
I think i had to get through this day so i would be passionate about saving babies, about helping other monoamniotic moms and never ever taking my boys for granted.
i will never forget this day. The day someone thought my unborn babies weren't worth the sacrifice. WEll, they were Dr. Emery, They were!